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Task 2 첨삭 부탁드립니다!

| 조회 113 | 추천 0
  • 2017.01.11
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■ Direction You have 20 minutes to plan and write your response. You response will be judge on the basis of The quality of writing and on how well your response presents the points in the lecture and the relationship to the reading passage. Typically, an effective response will be 150 to 225 words.
■ Question Summarize the points made in the lecture you just heard, explaining how they cast doubt on the points made in the reading

▶ Topic : Some people say that the best way to improve public health is by increasing the number of sports facilities. Others, however, say that this would have little effect on public health and that other measures are required.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. 

▶ Your Answer :
In the era of hectic lives, the importance of staying fit has been highlighted around the world. One national policy for that was to increase the number of sports facilities such as the public gym. However, it is contentious whether it is an effective way to increase the use of facilities or remained useless. 

 There are a myriad of facilities everywhere. However, only few people use it frequently. The first reason is that many people do not know about the availability of sports facilities and the location of them. According to the research, new trends in building accommodations are to equip the public gyms built in the apartment, but not many people know that. Therefore, even though a number of facilities has existed as much as the number of accommodation, they have been vacant for a while. On the other hand, some argue that it is not still enough for the number of sports facilities. They allege that the reason why people do not use the public facilities is because the number of gyms are not enough to suit different tastes of people.

  First of all, the most important thing to increase the public health is to let people know the availability of facilities such as the location and price. Due to the fact that the public gyms fix normally more at reasonable price than private facilities, this would attract people to come financially. In addition, the regular maintenance of facility is of paramount importance. If they are not managed appropriately, people leave the gym and never come back. The public facilities should also apply the public tastes periodically. 

 In conclusion, it is evident that people these days have quite busy lives, they do not have many chance to go to the gym. By letting them be aware of the facility's availability, it can attract people to visit the sports facilities. 
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10621 답글 [Task2] RE:에세이 첨삭 부탁드립니다. meer 85 2017.01.14
10620 [Task1] 첨삭부탁드립니다 :) 사진 109 2017.01.11
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